This was my perch yesterday... You can't tell but it is about 6 feet off the ground...
I sat here off and on yesterday watching him work on the deck...

Before he quit for the day, he lifted a good portion of the decking onto the frame.  He walks on those boards like they are flat ground...the darker ones are the old ones and he put the lighter ones between them for more stability...watching him makes me a nervous wreck.

The cats take turns keeping an eye on him also.  It's not a job for the weak hearted!

Following deck construction, we went to dinner in Des Moines, had pedi's...he just wanted someone to massage his feet, and went to see Hope Soars.  It's a good movie...the audience was middle aged...I love Meryl Streep... You don't want to take your children - 10 years old or 30 years old if sex talks makes you squeemish.

He's out working on the deck again.. The critters and I are holding our vigil..every now and then one of them meows and he cusses.  Life is good.

Until next time...

Really interesting...

My xanga post yesterday brought out comments that actually made me feel better and not just totally hell bound; although, I haven't heard from G'hog yet.  I'm sure he will have a different opinion.  I felt that most everyone got it...got my opinion, anyway..may not have agreed totally but were able to bring their perspective to my confusion ... The opinions were different yet the same.  This is what I got out of it.

• Belief in Diety!
• Prayer works whether in the standard prayer to GOD or prayer as a meditation to the diety within.
• GOD and dEVIL = Good and Evil (thanks John..that one really stuck with me)

I've been evolving to the way of thinking that there is an energy.  I also HAD wondered where that energy goes when our brain stops..that energy aka soul within us until my brother-in-law asked if that energy may go to those who mourn and cry?  Not sure..interesting thought.

I also have a very strong belief that our conscience is the source of our own good and evil and this should be our barometer. I believe  prayer is actually the meditation of our soul.

As far as organized religion - nope....  thanks to the ultra conservative religious, the tea party and the hate mongers all saying they speak for God...I will find my spirituality within my soul and communicate thru my soul...and if I find out the man with the long robe is out there, I'm sure he will find love and peace resting gently within me.

Until next time....

I woke up this morning with the very strong reality check that perhaps self-esteem is voided by "christians" because as we trust God for everything, meanwhile thank God for everything, it negates the principal of success = building self-esteem because christians DON'T accomplish it - God does.  CHA-CHING - reality check.

This kind of goes along with my question - with christians praising God for everything, I seem to be missing out on what christians think about prayer that they perceive isn't answered...or is it that every prayer that isn't answered the way the "prayer" wants/expects is God saying NO?  I'm having a hard time with the how God healed someone...and didn't heal someone else and they died..yet a lot of these folks believe God has a plan; they have learned that God knows how many hairs are on their head; yet believe that we have free will to make our own decisions; yet they have learned that God has a plan...so if this is true, why don't we believe that us earthlings are just perceived as robots of the almighty because God knows what is going to happen before it happens and.......yet when we ask God to help us make the decision - we have a 50/50 chance of making the God like decision and if it is the 50 percent negative - where was God in helping to make the decision according to his plan?  Once again I say - Praise God for the rain but if you truly believe God has a plan...why aren't we praising God for the drought...it certainly has nothing to do with our own thinking and free will...or does it...perhaps farmers have been bad and this is their punishment...but then there are those that say that doesn't happen because God wants only what is good for us according to his plan so YES as a matter of fact, we need to be thanking God for the drought!!!!  Confusing to read, perhaps..but is the process of my thinking and once again leads me to ask...
WHAT????

Just thoughts... If you are going to give me the speel about just having faith...please don't bother to leave a comment...I haven't believed in the just have faith thing for a very long time.

Until next time...

Now I'm on vacation.  I actually accomplished a lot yesterday..He was working and I had little projects I had to complete on a list.  I hate lists..but anyway.  I got everything done.  I feel the most relaxed I've felt in many years.  I may even get peace outta this before the week is up.  Oh..don't get me wrong..I still have things to do...it's the things that have been hanging over my head since about 09 that are done...

Onward and upward.

that's it for today...

I have been sitting on the floor for the last hour going thru a box of the girls' barbie dolls, barbie doll clothes (which some were mine from the 60s.  I found cabbage patch dolls and stuffed critters and Barbies, and Kens, one of the new kids on the block as well as Michael Jackson.  Most are naked and have been  for a good 10 years or more...As I was going thru the clothes, I wondered what went with who and thought.gee I wish I would have had the girls put the clothes back on them the last time they played with them....which would have been????

Then I got into a really heavy thought process about how things happen in our lives..things we don't plan...things we take for granted...things we don't know...do I have any idea the last time I played Barbies with Lennie Rae, Susie and Peggy..no of course not..do I wish I could remember it - yes...the main thing I remember is going over to Peggy's house and having elaborate Barbie houses put together on the pool table and playing for hours...I loved the little carpet squares I got when a carpet business went out of business...The Barbie Dream House - the furniture..the shoes or should I say shoe because there was always one missing.  

It's even too late to encourage my kids to play and be kids .... the simple times they will never have again.

All this came from some Barbie Dolls and their clothes.

Until next time....

Do you ever totally freak yourself out to the point you ask...am I really crazy or do I have too vivid of an imagination.

On my way to work this morning, I was coming down the hill on the hard surface road and I thought...Holy crap...there is a blue heron on the road...I've never, ever seen a blue heron on the road before...WT...then as I got closer, I realized it was just a stream of water on the road but I was able to say..ah..but it does have an unusual shape and as I got within a bumper length of it...i realized there wasn't any shape..it was a rectangular shape of water...really not even water just where water had been...I so wanted to turn around and try it again to see if I saw it the second time...
*singsong voice - CrAzYYYYY.

I'm almost on vacation.  I have a meeting tomorrow night at the fire department with the EMS directors.  I really struggle talking to these folks because they don't know me very well.  They have no idea how much I worship these volunteers and totally respect what they do...but they always seem to get defensive when I open my mouth and I just want to say...Hey.. I'm on your side...I'm just trying to come up with ideas that MIGHT work better..let's discuss it and come up with a plan...but I'm usually spending so much time trying to be politically correct that I work myself into an irritable mood.  I also have to work on Thursday...otherwise...I'm on vacation.  The girls are coming back this weekend and we are having a small get-together at the lake for Phil's 60th birthday.  Looking forward to a good week.

That's it.  I'm going to bed.

Until next time...

We decided to take the bikes to Red Rock and ride somewhere that 1) we don't know anyone; and 2) flat surface...hahaha that's a joke!  We started DOWN the bike trail and I stopped to ask him if he thought it went ALL the way DOWN...realizing that there was no way I could come all the way back up, we went to plan B..just to ride around in the driveway area where all of the picnic shelters are.  We decided 1) this was a smart idea; and 2)we are very, very out of shape.

Then we decided to pack them up because you just can't do too much exercise in one day and he decided he wanted to do a little sailing..so off we went to the marina...it actually reminded me of the week before with @Tracy...although this time, there was a little breeze and the lake wasn't like glass...until we got out on it and got the sails unfurled...there was no breeze..we were without the means to move around.  That fast!!  We noticed another sailboat coming in with their sails down and decided it wasn't our lack of sail-man-woman-ship...there was no wind. 

We are home now and I'm supposed to be doing something....he and the cats are putting together a new shelf for me.  The cats are stealing the little pieces and carrying them out into the hallway...I find a lot of pleasure in just listening to him try to talk to them like they know what he is talking about .....

Until next time...

Things heard in the driveway this morning

• I can't figure out how to push the seat forward
• Okay, I think your seat is too close your knees are up
• Wow..you are a lot of help
• Should you just ride in the driveway
• Oh Wow I wasn't expecting that...
• What happened
• I feel like an idiot
• Now you know what my dad felt like
• You go on...I'll just practice
• Maybe I should get a helmet
• I'm fine

I realize 1 year, 11 months and 14 days isn't tomorrow and sounds pretty far in the future to document plans on a calendar..but it will be a very important day for me...the beginning of retirement.  I skipped over my anniversary date without a thought but it hit me this morning.  Now, I'm hoping that I won't be working right up until my official retirement date...barring unforeseen events, I should have plenty of time off on the books to be out a few months before July 1, 2014...awesome!  I wonder how much the family has suffered the last 28 years of my work schedule..working shifts around the clock and having few weekends off..but it is what it is.  There are many experiences and events which cause us to wonder...WHAT IF?

I picked him up at work last night and we made a quick trip to Des Moines to purchase a couple of recumbent bikes from a nice couple on the south side.  It's going to take some getting used to..they don't exactly ride like a regular bike..but I think they are going to be great for my knees, my butt and my weight.  Now if it would just cool down.

Until next time....